Readers Respond: Worst Voicemail Greetings Ever

Responses: 17

From James Bucki, former About.com Guide

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Tell us the worst voicemail greetings that you have ever heard.

“Hey this is Bryan, sorry that I couldn’t make it to my phone in time or that I’m on the other line. I’ll get back to you when I can. Unless the reason i didn’t pick up was because I was just in an accident or dropped my phone in the toilet. Then you might never hear from me. But trust me, there is a good reason I’m not picking up. Leave a message." LMAO.....
—plagrl6

Hi, Thank you for not leaving me a voice message. I won't waste my time checking my voicemail and I won't return any calls anyway.
—Guest Tarja

You do the voicemail raid and you leave me a message thats what its all about. After the beep.
—Guest { bless.your.face }

When the message is totaly unreqanizable because of the accuostics. RAP MUSIC! REALLY> WHAT MESSAGE r-u-sending?
—Guest Bebop

Contrary to popular belief, most callers don't want to hear the latest club hit while waiting for you to pick up the phone!
—Guest kesthebest

Hello, Im an idiot and can not possible take your call without falling out of my chair. please leave a message and i will have my assistant call you back. She is much better at this! Thanks!
—Guest Dizzie Des

"you know what i hate about voicemail messages they go on and on wasting your time. I mean all they really need to say is we are not in, please leave a message. This is why i have decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you my caller that you will never have to suffer through a long voicemail message again when you call me. You know what to do after the beep."
—Guest Cristina

Hello, Umm can you hold on just a sec please?... Thanks.... ..... .... .... .... .... ..... ..... .... You there? ... I'm not here right now, but you can leave a message and I'll call you right back after I've listened to this recording and had a good laugh!
—Guest Tim

"I cannot answer your call right now If I don't return your call call me back again
—Guest Dawn

My boss told me that it is not correct to say please leave ME a message I should say Please leave a message. What do you think?
—Guest Dawn

"YES , HELLO"......PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP. grr they always get me......
—Guest NEWT

If you're going to record a very long voicemail, be sure to include bypass instructions for frequent callers so they won't have to wait through a long greeting to leave you a message. On most voicemail systems you can press the # key to bypass the greeting. Greg
—gpkrantz

I hate the greetings that are insanely long. Along the lines of "I'm out but if you need to get me for A contact Jim, for B contact Mary, and for C contact Bob, and for all other issues leave me a message. I'll return your call as soon as I get back." Oh, and another one I hate is the "I'm either on the other line or away from my desk." Um, DUH! And why should I care that much where you are - those sound more like you're talking to your boss and saying "yes, boss, I'm still working even though I didn't answer your call" - What if it's 2 am on Saturday night? Are you really on another line? Lame.
—Guest Maos

Hello. I am making a few changes in my life. If I don't respond to your voicemail, you are one of the changes.
—Guest windows

I've heard many variations of this one: "This user has not set an outgoing message."
—googler

Believe it or not, George isn’t at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I’m not home!
—Guest NotGeorge